Something, Anything

A Socking Statistic

Yesterday, having nothing better to do, I headed off to Statcounter to check my blog statistics. I was astonished. 0.5 million hits per month?? Even going by the number of comments that my posts regularly generate, this was something I never even imagined possible. Was I dreaming? (as it turned out, I was. But let’s not get into that.)

Having marveled at this shockingly improbable statistic, I then pondered over a question of profound psychological importance:
Where the deuce was my other black sock?
Not the one I had on, of course, but the slightly stretched, matching one with the moth-eaten hole through which the big toe poked out and wiggled.

This thought, in turn, led to other thoughts of equal importance. Was I supposed to walk around with just one sock on? Was that my purpose in life? And what about the shoes? Should I wear both or just one on the foot with the sock? Would the other foot scream, “Blatant Discrimination!!” if I did that? Would it then refuse to walk? What if it went on strike? Would it disentangle itself from the body? If so, would I be able to impress wide-eyed impressionable kids with my tales and adventures of the suave one-legged pirate, that commander of the great behemoth of the seas called the Green Trouser, the brave and daring Capt. Bone ‘Pickels’ Marrow? Would the ladies look at me and giggle, “khikhikhikhikhi”?

And so, with this wealth of thoughts running through my head on that warm lazy morning, I proceeded to stand up, stretch my muscles in all directions and look for the holey missing sock. This was located after some strenuous searching, rolled and tucked away tightly, in the vent of the overhead air conditioner. Having retrieved the sock, I put it on, wiggled my big toe through the hole, and the world seemed all right again.

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2 Responses to “A Socking Statistic”

  1. # Blogger rchmura

    Hi, I'm from GoStats, you might find that GoStats can work better for you in the case of many monthly hits. GoStats can compile a much longer history than stat counter can. I think it would increase your productivity if you didn't have to review your stats in such a way.  

  2. # Anonymous D

    Good use of language and a very unique to topic write about...

    Waiting to read more on unique, bizzare and weird topics...  

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